Don't Wink At Me
Have an inappropriate online dating story? I want to hear it. Send your tale to dontwinkblog[at]gmail.com.
-
I’d love to say dating is all about personality. It is truly difficult to date someone whose personality you just don’t like, even if they look like Donald Draper or ScarJo. But the physical attraction factor needs to be there. As my friend Erica once so eloquently put it: “If no part of you wants to rip their clothes off, it’s never going to work out.”
So I get wanting to pick a profile photo in which you look your best. Unfortunately, some people haven’t been able to get over the fact that their “best” happened over a decade ago:
All you really need to know to about this photo is that the woman in it says she is in her mid-30s. I don’t think I’m pushing it by saying this photo was most likely published in her high school yearbook. And even if it is current (which it simply can’t be), where is a full-fledged adult having photos like this taken in the 21st Century? Glamour Shots? Ha! Remember Glamour Shots….
…oh… hey…. um, so you do remember Glamour Shots. And if this photo (clearly taken in the early 90s) is the most accurate representation of how you look in 2010, I am a monkey’s uncle.
I spent an afternoon at Glamour Shots with my mom in 1994. We got our hair and face did like two-bit streetwalkers and posed for “awesome” photos. Sparkly, gold leather jackets, feather boas… you name a cheesy accessory, we donned it whilst smirking like sexy kittens (I’m sure it was inappropriate for a 14-year-old). And while the photos are so embarrassing (they even were at the time), it was a fun day. And what’s more is the fact that I have ridiculous photos of myself to treasure for a life time. Photos that shall remain in a drawer, hidden from view, not willingly posted on a dating site nearly two decades later.
If you suspect a photo was taken the same year Salt N Peppa teamed up with En Vogue for “Whatta Man,” chances are you’re right. And chances are the person meeting you for a blind date at TGI Fridays will bear little resemblance to the photo. That is, unless she’s still wearing that faux mink stole.
Just for fun, check out these amazing Glamour Shot photos. Is it getting hot in here?
