My friend Liz is endlessly disenchanted by the Midwestern man’s profile photo. Why do you ask? Because it seems a large majority of them aren’t looking for a girlfriend, they’re lookin’ fer a huntin’ buddy.
Okay, I am so fine with hunting. If you want to go out and get yourself a buck or a turkey, I am fine with that. But do I need to see a photo of you with a dead bear carcass, hemorrhaging from the mouth? I don’t know whether to cry, barf or see what this guy’s got going on this weekend.
Is that cupid’s arrow lodged in the chest of that 8-pointer? Hubba hubba.
Ah, the classic fish photo. I would say upwards of 60 percent of men in Minnesota have one of these posted in their profile. I actually love fishing (drinkin beer and shootin the breeze… what’s not to love?). But if you’re going the fish photo option, I really hope you have also chosen to post a pic or two with you in regular clothes, not wearing a hat and sunglasses and without a fish in front of your chest. Because while a few ladies will be impressed at that northern you slayed last year at the lake, most are more interested in you than your trophy.
Mashed potatoes, stuffing and cranberry sauce comin’ up!
Now here’s an odd breed: The tractor guy. I had no idea there were so many of these guys plowing the online love fields, but I’ve stumbled upon a ton of them. Maybe it’s just because I’m a city girl, but I don’t get the appeal (and I even did like that Kenny Chesney song). And even if I did get the appeal, I still am more interested in dating a man than I am a tractor…. so for God’s sake, get out of the damn thing before you take the photo.
Exhibit F, Part B:
Anyhow, this is the epidemic us ladies are facing in the Midwest. I wonder: what sorts of photos are running rampant in other parts of the country? And guys, what photos do you wish the ladies would just get over already?